The "I Hate Duke" Thread

[X Communicator]

I hate Duke because it’s located on the mythical Tobacco Road, and I hate roads that are made of tobacco, because you’re walking along and then the tobacco gets stuck to the bottom of your shoes, and then you got cigarette butts and tobacco all over your floor, and derelicts will want to smoke your shoes, and so on.

I hate Duke because its grads include the likes of Richard Nixon and Elizabeth Dole, and I hate their politics. Also, I hate Duke because there a likely a number of convicted felons who have attended Duke, but I can’t list them here because I don’t know their names, on account of the fact that Duke does have a DISTINGUISHED FELONS list on its website, which is discriminatory, and I HATE discrimination.

I hate Duke because there is no way in hell that you can get Shuh-shesh-kee out of Kryzyzewski, and I hate both the oral and the print version of that sumbitch.

Also, I hate Duke because Dukes are eminently loatheworthy, like Duke Cunningham, the Duke of Earl, Duke Energy, the Amboy Dukes, Duquesne, all Duke-bags past and present, and John Wayne. Give ‘em all a Duke-ectomy! The only exceptions to the hate-Dukename rules are Duke Ellington and Duke Snider, whose first names were actually Xavier, but then angry tobacco-smoking Duke-nuts changed their birth certificates at the courthouse one night.

And speaking of names, was Laettner a Christian? Was Carlos a Boozer? Was Danny a Ferry? This is exactly my point! I hate phony Duke players!

There you go, X fans. Put up yer dukes!

[BBC 08]

I hate duke (just like dayton they don't deserve to have the d capitalized) because of fans like these over on www.dukebasketballreport.com:

#35 Today, 02:25 PM
JDev
Bench Warmer Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 99



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Quote:
Originally Posted by MADXSTER
If you wish to visit Xavier's basketball board, here is the site

http://www.xavierhoops.com/forums/index.php

Every time I visit another team's message board, it makes me respect and appreciate this board all the more.


JDev
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#36 Today, 02:32 PM
elvis14
Sixth Man Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 339




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Quote:
Originally Posted by JDev
Every time I visit another team's message board, it makes me respect and appreciate this board all the more.

I was typing in the same reply in another window when I saw this post. The X-men that have visited here have been classy and knowledgeable. Their message board however is embarrassing. Thanks DBR for providing and moderating this forum.

[X Communicator]

I was typing in the same reply in another window when I saw this post. The X-men that have visited here have been classy and knowledgeable. Their message board however is embarrassing. Thanks DBR for providing and moderating this forum.

DBR? Of course...the Douche Bag Review!

[OX09]

I was typing in the same reply in another window when I saw this post. The X-men that have visited here have been classy and knowledgeable. Their message board however is embarrassing. Thanks DBR for providing and moderating this forum.

If I can't be ambiguously classless here, then where can I be ambiguosly classless? I'm gonna have to wait for a riot or something!

But seriously, do they not realize that the X reps that vsit their site are probably operating in some form or another on this site?

[DC Muskie]

Thanks Chance for being a jolly good fellow and moderating this fine forum of basketball talk. Stop by the house for some tea and crumpets and let's discuss the symbolism of the opening monologue of Richard III. My Kingdom for a Low Post Threat, am I right? Hahahahaha.

Tool bags. I guess I'm trash. Poor, white, uneducated trash.

I want to kill them. KILL!

[ServiceUnavailable]

One of the many reasons I hate dook... They get all the calls and then some:

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2004/03/28/sports/3133066JS001_Xavier_Dke.18.jpg

"Xavier's Anthony Myles trying to stop Duke's Shelden Williams. Myles, arguably the Musketeers' best player in the regional final, drew his fifth foul with 12:27 to play and Xavier leading, 44-41."

[Masterofreality]

I hate Duke because it’s located on the mythical Tobacco Road, and I hate roads that are made of tobacco, because you’re walking along and then the tobacco gets stuck to the bottom of your shoes, and then you got cigarette butts and tobacco all over your floor, and derelicts will want to smoke your shoes, and so on.

I hate Duke because its grads include the likes of Richard Nixon and Elizabeth Dole, and I hate their politics. Also, I hate Duke because there a likely a number of convicted felons who have attended Duke, but I can’t list them here because I don’t know their names, on account of the fact that Duke does have a DISTINGUISHED FELONS list on its website, which is discriminatory, and I HATE discrimination.

I hate Duke because there is no way in hell that you can get Shuh-shesh-kee out of Kryzyzewski, and I hate both the oral and the print version of that sumbitch.

Also, I hate Duke because Dukes are eminently loatheworthy, like Duke Cunningham, the Duke of Earl, Duke Energy, the Amboy Dukes, Duquesne, all Duke-bags past and present, and John Wayne. Give ‘em all a Duke-ectomy! The only exceptions to the hate-Dukename rules are Duke Ellington and Duke Snider, whose first names were actually Xavier, but then angry tobacco-smoking Duke-nuts changed their birth certificates at the courthouse one night.

And speaking of names, was Laettner a Christian? Was Carlos a Boozer? Was Danny a Ferry? This is exactly my point! I hate phony Duke players!

There you go, X fans. Put up yer dukes!

Now THAT is a rant I can endorse!!! Well done!!

[XUglow]

The X-men that have visited here have been classy and knowledgeable. Their message board however is embarrassing. Thanks DBR for providing and moderating this forum.

Embarrassing? Xavier Hoops is apparently the Duke football of message boards. Ugh. I am so ashamed.

[Juice]

One of the many reasons I hate dook... They get all the calls and then some:

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2004/03/28/sports/3133066JS001_Xavier_Dke.18.jpg

"Xavier's Anthony Myles trying to stop Duke's Shelden Williams. Myles, arguably the Musketeers' best player in the regional final, drew his fifth foul with 12:27 to play and Xavier leading, 44-41."

Sheldon married Candace Parker. He isn't even the best player in his family now.

[BBC 08]

I hate duke because of the following guidelines, link (http://www.dukebasketballreport.com/forums/showthread.php?t=3350).

Lets see, if these were innacted here Artist would be banned for scalping, nuts and co. would be banned for innapropriate image or links, GuyFawks would be banned for repetitive rants, Eastside J would be banned for "rational sounding but trolling", and everyone on here would be banned for lack of civility.

Did I miss anyone?

[lavenders legion]

I hate duke becauase they use phrases such as "last eve" on their message boards:
[QUOTE]
But mostly I'm just thinking about how fierce they played last eve, tough, tough defense (on maybe an inferior ballhandling team?), active rebounding, probably no go-to guy but pretty blalanced scoring. [QUOTE]

http://http://www.dukebasketballreport.com/forums/showthread.php?t=13231

[X-Fan]

I hate duke (just like dayton they don't deserve to have the d capitalized) because of fans like these over on www.dukebasketballreport.com:

#35 Today, 02:25 PM
JDev
Bench Warmer Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 99



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Quote:
Originally Posted by MADXSTER
If you wish to visit Xavier's basketball board, here is the site

http://www.xavierhoops.com/forums/index.php

Every time I visit another team's message board, it makes me respect and appreciate this board all the more.


JDev
View Public Profile
Send a private message to JDev
Find all posts by JDev

#36 Today, 02:32 PM
elvis14
Sixth Man Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 339




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Quote:
Originally Posted by JDev
Every time I visit another team's message board, it makes me respect and appreciate this board all the more.

I was typing in the same reply in another window when I saw this post. The X-men that have visited here have been classy and knowledgeable. Their message board however is embarrassing. Thanks DBR for providing and moderating this forum.

WTF is that all about?! Their site is NO better than XH. What a moron.

I hate duke because they cried like girls when Laettner hit that shot against UK.

I hate duke because we would have beat them in 2004 if horn-nose could coach his way out of a paper bag and got Myles out of the game after his 4th foul.

I hate duke because I saw one of their fans in Atlanta wearing loafers with white socks.

[Drew's Crew]

I hate Duke because I am a lifelong MD fan. And they are the anti-christ.

In addition, my first day ever at Xavier University was a sleepover night the exact night of the Elite Eight game against Puke. After watching MD get screwed by Duke and the refs all of my life, I then stay the night at my prospective college, and new favorite team, and watch the refs and Duke screw Xavier.

Ever since that day, my hatred for Duke, which I did not believe could possibly increased, completely boiled over.

Also, everyone always gives Coach K all the respect in the world and say how great he is, but after watching Duke my whole life and seeing them get all the calls, I have still never seen a coach complain and scream at the referees as much as he does in my entire life. It is truly baffling. When you watch the game on saturday, check out Coach K a few times throughout the game. I GUARANTEE you that he is screaming at the referee for something. What a Douche.

[American X]

Duke academics is a fraud. So smart? Please. Consider:

1) The Methodist-founded school named their mascot the Blue Devils. Lucky for them, a mad scramble through the history books found some cool French guys with that name to provide some cover. False, not named after Les Diables Bleus. Besides, Xavier has the monopoly on cool French guy mascot.

2) They named their school after a bowel movement. Washington Duke and family are complete fabrications. It's as if they let some 13-year old Tar Heel choose their school and mascot names.

3) Cameron Indoor Stadium. A stadium by definition is outdoor. The English language has a word for indoor sporting venues. It is called an arena.

Exceptional academics my arse.

[xu2006]

3) Cameron Indoor Stadium. A stadium by definition is outdoor. The English language has a word for indoor sporting venues. It is called an arena.

THANK YOU. Duke sucks.