Greatest Quotes of All Time

[xavierdude]

I was getting bored surfing the web, and I was looking up sports quotes, movie quotes, presidential quotes, etc. This thread is devoted to favorite quotes you've come across, memorized, made up, and idolized.

Here are some of my favorite (infamous and funny) quotes I've heard:

John Kerry: “If you make the most of (education), you study hard, you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.” ... *insert foot here*

Bush: "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."

Al Capone: "you can do more with a gun and a kind word, than you can do with a kind word alone."

[DC Muskie]

Snipe: "I've never played the game."

[94GRAD]

DC Muskie: "I had a great time tonight."
Future dead hooker: "I did too, we should do this again."

[Smails]

SPORTS:

"I was brought up in Florida, so there isn't much difference between playing there and playing here. The climax are about the same."

-Mickey Rivers on playing in Texas


POLITICAL:

"Man is not free unless government is limited."

"We must reject the idea that every time a law's broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions."

-Ronald Reagan

MOVIE:

" Y'know what I think? Don't really matter what I think. Once that first bullet goes past your head, politics and all that shit just goes right out the window."

Eric Bana in Black Hawk Down

MM/XH:

BJ Raymond is not a Division 1 basketball player.

Can't quote is b/c it's a paraphrase..we know who the author is

[BiggieXU]

"So it goes" - Vonnegut

[Mark 3 Pointer]

"The homerun race between Sammie Sewser and Mike McGuire is really good for baseball and America!"

Ted Kennedy

[XUglow]

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2322/2436782031_8f635b0aed_m.jpg

"I don't need to go to f***ing rehab!"

[Smooth]

There are three kinds of women in the world: Bitches, fuckin' bitches, and Xavier women. - Mark Twain.

OK, maybe that was me, but he gave me the idea.

[vee4xu]

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake--which I also keep handy.

W. C. Fields
US actor (1880 - 1946)

[golfitup]

The entire Stanley Burrell press conference last season.

[Stonebreaker]

"That's not disturbing......this is disturbing!"-Patrick Star

http://a.bebo.com/app-image/7925837720/5411656627/PROFILE/i.quizzaz.com/img/q/u/08/04/05/grppic_2104324_PatrickStarFanclub.jpg

[MADXSTER]

Animal House

Greg, honey, is it supposed to be this soft?

See if you can guess what I am now. I'm a zit. Get it?

F** her. F** her brains out. Suck her t**, squeeze her buns. You know she wants it.
For shame! Lawrence, I'm surprised at you!
Aw, don't listen to that jack-off. Look at those gazongas. You'll never get a better chance.
You homo.

They took the bar! The whole f***ing bar!

Mr. Kroger: two C's, two D's and an F. That's a 1.2 grade average. Congratulations, Kroger. You're at the top of the Delta pledge class. Mr. Dorfman?
Zero point two... Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son. Mr. Hoover, president of Delta house? One point six; four C's and an F. A fine example you set! Daniel Simpson Day... HAS no grade point average. All courses incomplete. Mr. Blu - MR. BLUTARSKY... ZERO POINT ZERO.

Christ. Seven years of college down the drain.

If I was in your shoes, I'd be...
Leaving! What a good idea.

Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no! Germans? Forget it, he's rolling.

Holy sh*t!
There were blanks in that gun!
I didn't even point the gun at him!
Holy sh*t!
There WERE blanks in that gun!
Maybe he had a heart attack.
Holy sh*t!

They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn't steal!

Dad! Mom, Dad, this is Larry Kroger. The boy who molested me last month. We have to get married.

Point of parliamentary procedure!
Don't screw around, they're serious this time!
Take it easy, I'm pre-law.
I thought you were pre-med.
What's the difference?

Is this really what you're gonna do for the rest of your life?
What do you mean?
I mean hanging around with a bunch of animals getting drunk every weekend.
No! After I graduate, I'm gonna get drunk every night.

TOGA! TOGA!

You're all worthless and weak! Now drop and give me twenty!

But Delta's already on probation.
They are? Well, as of this moment, they're on DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION!

Food fight!

Mine's bigger.
My cucumber. It's bigger.
I think vegetables can be very sensuous, don't you?
No, vegetables are sensual. People are sensuous.
Right. Sensual. That's what I meant. My name's Eric Stratton. People call me Otter.
My name's Marion. People call me Mrs. Wormer.
Oh, we have a Dean Wormer at Faber.
How interesting. I have a husband named Dean Wormer at Faber. Still want to show me your cucumber?


And most recently of all, a "Roman Toga Party" was held from which we have received more than two dozen reports of individual acts of perversion SO profound and disgusting that decorum prohibits listing them here.

I gave my love a cherry / That had no stone / I gave my love a chicken / That had no bones / I gave my love a story / That had no end / I gave my...

Do you mind if we dance with your dates?

That boy is a P-I-G pig.

Before we go any further, there's something I have to tell you. I lied to you. I've never done this before.
You've never made out with a girl before?
No. No, I mean, I've never done what I think we're gonna do. I sort of did once, but i was...
That's okay, Larry. Neither have I. And besides, I lied to you, too.
Oh, yeah? What about?
I'm only 13.

[Stonebreaker]

"Don't call me stupid!"-A Fish Called Wanda

[blobfan]

So I've got that going for me.

[BBC 08]

Which is nice.

[xavierdude]

Mike Tyson: "He called me a 'rapist' and a 'recluse'. I'm not a recluse"

[xavierdude]

"Don't tell my the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon"

"Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect."

"The shortest distance between two points is under construction."

"There are 10 types of people, those who understand binary and those who don’t"

[Masterofreality]

"Practice? We talkin' 'bout practice, man.

Not the game, not the game that I go out 'dere and die fo, we talkin' 'bout practice.

Whach we talkin' 'bout, PRACTICE?

-Alan Iverson after being suspended for missing numerous, practices, man.

Second place- "Nothing is as dead as yesterday's news."

[XU-PA]

"Lighten up Francis"
Sgt. Hulka (Warren Oates)

"Boys!!! Avenge Me! Avennnnnge Meeeeeeee!"
Mr Eckart (Harry Dean Stanton)

[Kahns Krazy]

I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, "I drank what?" - Chris Knight

[Stonebreaker]

“Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it says 'Chicken by the Sea.'”

Jessica Simpson

http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q81/funisdead/jess-1.jpg

[Pablo's Brother]

This one works on so many levels:


"I was gonna rip his heart out. I'm the best ever. I'm the most brutal and vicious, the most ruthless champion there has ever been. No one can stop me. Lennox is a conqueror? No! He's no Alexander! I'm Alexander! I'm the best ever. I'm Sonny Liston. I'm Jack Dempsey. There's never been anyone like me. I'm from their cloth. There is no one who can match me. My style is impetuous, my defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want his heart! I want to eat his children! Praise be to Allah!"

Mike Tyson

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NB_CB1p5Q4

[drudy23]

"Forrest, I finally got my sea legs."

"But Lieutenant Dan, you ain't got no legs"

[vee4xu]

This one works on so many levels:


"I was gonna rip his heart out. I'm the best ever. I'm the most brutal and vicious, the most ruthless champion there has ever been. No one can stop me. Lennox is a conqueror? No! He's no Alexander! I'm Alexander! I'm the best ever. I'm Sonny Liston. I'm Jack Dempsey. There's never been anyone like me. I'm from their cloth. There is no one who can match me. My style is impetuous, my defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want his heart! I want to eat his children! Praise be to Allah!"

Mike Tyson

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NB_CB1p5Q4

I remember seeing this when he made the statement and thinking how stunning it was. Then, if I recall correctly he went out and got his sissy ass whopped by Lewis.

[chico]

We got the money, we got the ring, we got everything! - Chris Sabo

It's all ball bearing now. - Irwin Fletcher

I'll have a steak sandwich and a steak sandwich. - Irwin Fletcher

Where the white women at? - Sheriff Bart

What in the wide world of sports is goin on here? - Taggart

I bet if you buy that hat you get a free bowl of soup...it looks good on you, though. Al Czervik

Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains. - Ebby Calvin "Nuke" LaLoosh

The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Theisman

I ain't gettin on no time machine - Mickey Rivers after finding out the team flight from Cleveland to Chicago left at 1:30 p.m. and arrived at 1:15 p.m.

I don't think God really cares who wins or loses this game. But I bet his mother does. - Lou Holtz

When my time on earth is gone, and my activities here are passed, I want they bury me upside down, and my critics can kiss my ass! - Bobby Knight

That's just a few off the top of my head.