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View Full Version : Let's Add Humor To The Political Discourse Here So We Can All Make It Through Nov.



xudash
09-12-2016, 03:02 PM
Hillary Clinton called Bill Clinton into her office one day and said, "Bill, I have a plan to win back Middle America in 2016!" "Great Hillary, but how?" asked Bill.

"We'll get some cheesy clothes and shoes, like most Middle Class Americans wear, then stop at the pound and pick up a Labrador retriever. Then, we'll go to a nice old country bar in Montana and show them how much admiration and respect we have for the hard working people living there."

So they did, and found just the place they were looking for in Bozeman, Montana. With the dog in tow, they walked inside and stepped up to the bar. The Bartender took a step back and said, "Hey! Aren't you Bill and Hillary Clinton?" "Yes we are!" said Hillary, "And what a lovely town you have here. We were passing through and Bill suggested we stop and take in some local color." They ordered a round of bourbon for the whole bar, and started chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.

A few minutes later, a grizzled old rancher came in, walked up to the Labrador, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked out. A few moments later, in came another old rancher. He walked up to the dog, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head, and left the bar. For the next hour, another dozen ranchers came in, lifted the dog's tail, and left shaking their heads.

Finally, Hillary asked, "Why did all those old ranchers come in and look under the dog's tail? Is it some sort of local custom?"

"Lord no," said the bartender. "Someone's out there running around town, claiming there's a Labrador Retriever in here with two assholes!"

NY44
09-12-2016, 03:28 PM
A guy walks into a book store and says to the owner, "Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's book on immigration? I'm a big fan"

The owner replies, "Get the hell out of here, you trash!"

The man responds, "Yeah, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback?"

paulxu
09-12-2016, 06:05 PM
http://www.postandcourier.com/storyimage/CP/20160720/PC1603/160729941/AR/0/AR-160729941.jpg&maxw=800&q=90

bobbiemcgee
09-14-2016, 07:25 PM
"Nearly 70 percent of Americans said a Trump presidency would make them 'anxious.' And 30 percent said a Trump presidency would make them 'Canadian.'"–Conan O'Brien

Muskie in dayton
09-14-2016, 09:09 PM
Now this is funny... And scary true:
http://reason.com/blog/2016/08/26/dead-abe-lincoln-says-vote-gary-johnson

I laughed very hard at least four or 5 times.

bobbiemcgee
09-14-2016, 09:28 PM
I laughed very hard at least four or 5 times.

Made me cry.

xu82
09-14-2016, 09:37 PM
Made me cry.

I doubt they were tears of joy.

Emp
09-20-2016, 12:16 PM
Trump recently told an economic gurus club in NYC he was gong to create 25 million jobs, but was dodgy on details.

Turns out 20 million will be hired as full time fact checkers of his speeches. The other five million will be documenting flip flops.

paulxu
09-21-2016, 08:20 PM
OK then.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cs14y6LVUAAh-Ly.jpg

94GRAD
09-22-2016, 02:42 PM
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/b2fc974d1d/between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis-hillary-clinton?_cc=__d___&_ccid=d800a620-2049-413c-bf76-4f13fbecf8f3


Between two ferns With Zach and Hillary

paulxu
09-22-2016, 03:22 PM
That was funny BJ. Thanks!

94GRAD
09-22-2016, 03:31 PM
That was funny BJ. Thanks!

How do I get ahold of you... email?

paulxu
09-22-2016, 03:39 PM
How do I get ahold of you... email?

Check your inbox.

waggy
09-23-2016, 12:21 PM
Do you know what this little known medical device is?

https://naturespoisons.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/tobacco-smoke-enema-kit-by-wellcome-images-cc-by-sa-4-0.jpg

It's a Tobacco Smoke Enema Kit (1750's - 1810's).

The tobacco enema was used to infuse tobacco smoke into a patient's rectum for various medical purposes, but primarily the resuscitation of drowning victims.

A rectal tube inserted into the anus, was connected to a fumigator and bellows that forced the smoke into the rectum. The warmth of the smoke was thought to promote respiration.

Doubts about the credibility of tobacco enemas led to the popular phrase "blowing smoke up your ass." As you are most likely aware, this odd tool is still heavily used by all levels of government today.

X-band '01
09-23-2016, 12:37 PM
Funny, I thought it was an anti-masturbation device. For all the nuts who think masturbation is a victimless crime.

Milhouse
09-23-2016, 12:39 PM
Check your inbox.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h27AcB70Mvc

xudash
09-25-2016, 01:13 AM
A sign during college game day in Knoxville today:

"Put a wall around Florida and make Alabama pay for it."

xubrew
09-29-2016, 10:19 AM
Okay, so something that most people would never guess about me is that I love old movies and old television, and even old radio shows. Outside of hoops and soccer, 70 percent of what I like to watch is in black and white. So, perhaps I appreciated this way more than anyone else on here will, but it is GOLDEN!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XriXDtfqCg

BandAid
09-29-2016, 04:18 PM
Between Two Ferns: Hillary Clinton (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrkPe-9rM1Q)

How has no one posted this yet? It's hilarious.

EDIT: nm, I missed 94Grad's post earlier. Still worth a double-post though.

BandAid
09-30-2016, 12:41 PM
The Hillary Shimmy Song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xs0AupRWyC0)

chico
10-05-2016, 12:35 PM
This is one of the funniest things I have seen in a while. So, so serious and just so self-important. The arrogance and smugness of these people is off the charts. You really have to feel sorry for them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRp1CK_X_Yw

GoMuskies
10-05-2016, 12:41 PM
They tried to fake humility with some jokes. They're not that good at acting though.

bjf123
10-05-2016, 07:35 PM
Here's a great parody of the above video.

http://m.hannity.com/articles/hanpr-election-493995/hilarious-video-slams-famous-actors-for-15169961/


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

bobbiemcgee
10-05-2016, 07:45 PM
They were both dumb. Pretty much like this whole election year.