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The Coz
03-14-2016, 03:28 PM
Cruise Director julie mccoy (snipe) really outdid herself in new york.

Original plan was to drive to pttsburgh and take Megabus. The entire drive up i hear how we have the premier reserved Megabus seats. Half way up snipe is well in his cups. He is alternating between Nyquil and his Kamatchka vodka mixed with kool-aid. Because nothing says westsider like vodka made in Kentucky. ( just be glad you missed that screwdriver party)

We arrive in pitt with an hour to spare and toss the football atop the parking deck. We make our way over for the 11:10 departure only to see the bus pull away. It appears 11:10 IS THE DEPARTURE ON RETURN TRIP! His kids are in full meltdowm. There is a city bus driver who confirms our fears.
Bus driver: yeah it left. Had to move to make way for it.
Bus driver(interior monologue): these morons drove from cincy and missed the bus? Maybe they are looking for the short bus.

Thu morning arrive in times square and get early check-in (only thing that went smoothly all weekend).we walk around times square and Good morning america.Captain Obvious tells me it costs a pretty penny to advertise here.

We return to hotel and sleep then head for a bike rental -to use julie's groupon- for riding bike's thru Central Park. On the way i get a mile's worth of lecture on the history of hell's kitchen. A history julie herself only learned the day before. Entering columbus circle a girl says under her breath that it must be tourist season again. Bitch. So we ride around til there is a bike malfunction on one of the bikes...then his other kid gets stung by a bee.
Love that park. Love the north woods and belvedere castle. Love Olmstead.

Afterward i enjoyed a plate of tres leches which was spongecake with three types of milk. Also some raspberry rugala..Bourdain on Acid decided to sample a quaint Irish place known as Mcdonald's...again.

Thursday night: snipe on stubhub all day. Constant updates on ticket status. We finally find Thirstys..At last minute he pulls the trigger on tickets. He is boasting to his kids what a ticket genius he is. I hear him say "remember this for when you buy tickets!"....except he fails to hit electronic delivery. He has to send his kids 7 blocks to the local stubhub office and we end up entering near halftime. We win the game so all is well.

Friday: get up and run park again. Run the loop around water reservoir Woody walks around in Crimes and misdemeanors. Return to hotel and we subway to 9/11 memorial. That Trinity church is stunning. Taking subway down snipe thinks it is a great idea to seperate. We eventually catch up to him at the memorial and he is welled up with crocodile tears. Yes, he felt this solemn occasion was an opportunity for more grandstanding.
So afterward we walk thru wall st. Only snipe has no clue and wonders alound why the stock exchange isnt on wall st. We then take the Ikea boat to brooklyn. On the way back we walk thru them shooting Shades of Blue as well as a Speed sequel.

Did i mention i saw aisha tyler outside the times square t-mobile store? She is attractive.

Friday game vs the Hall. snipe isnt humbled by the prior nite's ticket fiasco in the least. On the way in he keeps shouting "MSG for me." We wait til last minute to get tickets thru vivid then cant get delivery. Possibly due to Garden reception.

We are not gonna get tickets and snipe's kids are in revolt. About to head back when he gets seats. Go thru security checkpoint second time. Get to gate and they wont accept. Tell us to go to line 1..buxom young woman ahead of us has an actual barcode the tickettaker union douchebags won't scan. ( these are the union types Thor finds heroic).
We see her across the street at hotel as we use office to print out tickets. We go thru security again and there is a snafu and guy says we should know the drill this being our third time thru. Suddenly an old man going thru concurrently claims his phone was stolen. So they make us reenter along with some shady youth that are the culprits. Finally we get to gate and two tickets work and two don't. Snipe's yougest goes ballistic. We tell them to go ahead and we will catch up. The youngest is being torn away and it looks like a scene from the doncentration camps. Finally an old hand security guard sees this and tells me and snipe to wait. He gets some exiting creighton n fans to give us their tickets and we end up seeing the second half from the 100 section. Of course we got drilled.

Saturday we had Shake Shack and leave. At the longterm lot a street guy is outside trying to lure people to a mystic's readings.
He keeps saying "Hall for it all." Seeing some smug nova fans i turn my xu hat backwards and we both start shouting "Hall for it all" at them. I believe they cursed at us but i told them i was in with the mystic and if it was curses they wanted...street guy wasnt himself a mystic but he assured me we would win three games in the big tourney.

So we loaded up the car. Snipe was out cold by jersey.

Lamont Sanford
03-14-2016, 03:43 PM
Absolutely priceless. Especially the part about missing the Megabus. This should be a Lifetime movie.

BENWAR
03-14-2016, 04:15 PM
Outside of ATL's posts back in the day, this might be the funniest post I have ever read here!

Classic!

Milhouse
03-14-2016, 04:16 PM
what did i just read..

nuts4xu
03-14-2016, 04:19 PM
Sounds exactly how I thought it would go. Props to the Coz for the play by play, and for spending a few days with Snipe and his kids.

paulxu
03-14-2016, 04:25 PM
tl:dnr

Actually I'm glad I did read it...if only for this gem.


..Bourdain on Acid decided to sample a quaint Irish place known as Mcdonald's...again.

Also, I'm not sure I'd believe the bus nonsense...except Snipe was involved, and it was a bus.

X-band '01
03-14-2016, 04:30 PM
Outside of ATL's posts back in the day, this might be the funniest post I have ever read here!

Classic!

Skillet also had some gems on Pablo's old board.


tl:dnr

Actually I'm glad I did read it...if only for this gem.

Also, I'm not sure I'd believe the bus nonsense...except Snipe was involved, and it was a bus.


We return to hotel and sleep then head for a bike rental -to use julie's groupon- for riding bike's thru Central Park. On the way i get a mile's worth of lecture on the history of hell's kitchen. A history julie herself only learned the day before.


That's my winner.

XMuskieFTW
03-14-2016, 04:39 PM
Did Snipe's kids make it back also or were they left to fend for themselves?

The Coz
03-14-2016, 05:31 PM
Did Snipe's kids make it back also or were they left to fend for themselves?

Make it back? Hell they were lobbying for st.louis. You see they've never known a state of equilibrium. They only know chaos.

Masterofreality
03-14-2016, 05:37 PM
Incredible. Props to The Coz for the Greatest Post on the History of this Board- about as lengthy as Snipes...but infinitely more interesting and compelling.

The fact that Snipe would turn a simple ticket purchase into a subway train wreck is unsurprising. What this entire story does though is make it infinitely important that there be an XHoops bus trip to the Big East Basketball Tournament...possibly on MegaBus...but not with Snipe as scheduler. I would nominate Hideous Redhead as the Tour Planner... But this must happen.

Finally, thank the Good Lord that Snipe's kids are all in one piece and healthy. I'm sure the same cannot be said for the Snipester himself, but so be it.

It has been too long since the last degenerate debacle. Time for another next season. Get yer popcorn ready.

The Coz
03-14-2016, 05:38 PM
My only regret was we didnt make it up to coulmbia to see where the Emp and todd gitlin took over the president's office and held Dean Coleman hostage in '68. Those were halcyon days for domestic terrorists.

Finally a shoutout to former Mayor Giuliani. Thank you for cleaning up Times Square from the cesspool it was when i stayed at the Milford Plaza years before. Liberals like to complain that you turned it into some generic amusement park but liberals think you have to be mugged several times in order to have an authentic urban experience.

GIMMFD
03-14-2016, 05:53 PM
My only regret was we didnt make it up to coulmbia to see where the Emp and todd gitlin took over the president's office and held Dean Coleman hostage in '68. Those were halcyon days for domestic terrorists.

Finally a shoutout to former Mayor Giuliani. Thank you for cleaning up Times Square from the cesspool it was when i stayed at the Milford Plaza years before. Liberals like to complain that you turned it into some generic amusement park but liberals think you have to be mugged several times in order to have an authentic urban experience.

Dear god Coz, next time YOU have to document a trip with Snipe. It sounded like everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. Kudos, that's absolutely hilarious bud!

Emp
03-14-2016, 07:13 PM
My only regret was we didnt make it up to coulmbia to see where the Emp and todd gitlin took over the president's office and held Dean Coleman hostage in '68. Those were halcyon days for domestic terrorists.

Finally a shoutout to former Mayor Giuliani. Thank you for cleaning up Times Square from the cesspool it was when i stayed at the Milford Plaza years before. Liberals like to complain that you turned it into some generic amusement park but liberals think you have to be mugged several times in order to have an authentic urban experience.

Fred, could have showed you the plaque if you had just Texted.

I had a great NYC moment Sunday morning at 430. AM. I had a 7 am flight, and was standing on the corner of 29th and Seventh Ave hailing a cab. A wild commotion of shrieking diverted my attention to a gaggle of at least two dozen transvestites, fairly young, teetering up the sidewalk in all manner of platform footwear. The bars being recently closed, they all piled into the only open establishment, the 24 hour Taco Bell.

There are so many unique and free opportunities in Manhattan.

Question: why drive to Pittsboil? Megas leave from Cincinniat, and Columbus for that matter.

paulxu
03-14-2016, 07:53 PM
Question: why drive to Pittsboil? Megas leave from Cincinniat, and Columbus for that matter.

Hee-hee. Can't wait for this answer. Going to be some bizarro save-two-dollars-spend 80-dollars-on-gas type deal.

Then again, Snipe was apparently the scheduler...so there is that.

fellahmuskie
03-14-2016, 09:53 PM
Hee-hee. Can't wait for this answer. Going to be some bizarro save-two-dollars-spend 80-dollars-on-gas type deal.

Then again, Snipe was apparently the scheduler...so there is that.

In Snipe's defense, the Megabus from Cincy does not go to NYC. There is, however, a notorious Chinatown bus that goes overnight Cincy - NYC. Surprised Snipe did not try that out.

bobbiemcgee
03-15-2016, 12:00 AM
Hee-hee. Can't wait for this answer. Going to be some bizarro save-two-dollars-spend 80-dollars-on-gas type deal.

Then again, Snipe was apparently the scheduler...so there is that.

After days of developing ticket strategy he missed half of both games?

Snipe
03-15-2016, 08:51 AM
You guys are gonna love my St Loiis package. See the birthplace of Mark Twain in Hannibal MO, right on the rolling Mississippi. Coupled with an adventurous trip to the world class St Louis Zoo. Package also includes the second half of both Xavier Tournament games.

Act now! Supplies are limited! At these prices we can't keep em on the shelf.

waggy
03-15-2016, 08:02 PM
The genuine way to go to St. Louis is by paddlewheeler.