Watermelon jokes

[sweet16]

The following is from UDPride. Is this an accurate account of the origin of all the watermelon jokes?


About 8 years ago the main X board at the time also hosted a collection of gay porn (I know, big suprise!). So they posted a video on their board of someone abusing a watermelon and libeled some Flyer players. A family member of the libeled player threatened legal action and they were all proud of themselves that their online activities drew a reaction from a real life adult person. To this day it remains an important event in their lives so they like to bring it up.

The main X protagonist died at a young age a few years ago and so this event has now attained the status of a sort of sacred scripture in their lives.

So now when you see the refereneces you can pity their pathetic existences and not be so angry.

[blueballs]

Unfortunately for them, watermelon lore will long outlive zip em up.

[muskiefan82]

What did the Watermelon say to the UD Basketball player?

No.....F^&k YOU!

[JimmyTwoTimes37]

The following is from UDPride. Is this an accurate account of the origin of all the watermelon jokes?


.

Here is the thread that explains the watermelon origin in detail from the great Pablo . Enjoy!

http://www.xavierhoops.com/forums/showthread.php?t=874&highlight=pablo+watermelon

[sweet16]

Here is the thread that explains the watermelon origin in detail from the great Pablo . Enjoy!

http://www.xavierhoops.com/forums/showthread.php?t=874&highlight=pablo+watermelon

Thanks Jimmy. So the whole thing was simply a fabrication right? I guess I just don't get it. I mean I understand taking shots at SBU as an example (if you're so inclined) because those events actually occured and were self-inflicted. Same goes, as an example, for Rick Majerus' crude behavior or OSU and Tressel. But in this case we're poking fun at something that never happened. I know it's UD and all but I thought there must have been more to the story than this.

[danaandvictory]

Thanks Jimmy. So the whole thing was simply a fabrication right? I guess I just don't get it. I mean I understand taking shots at SBU as an example (if you're so inclined) because those events actually occured and were self-inflicted. Same goes, as an example, for Rick Majerus' crude behavior or OSU and Tressel. But in this case we're poking fun at something that never happened. I know it's UD and all but I thought there must have been more to the story than this.

It wasn't really about the watermelon, it was about the ridiculous over the top reaction to the watermelon. Threats of lawsuits, pearl clutching from the UDPride crowd, etc.

[GoMuskies]

If we were classy like Dayton, there would be no such jokes.

[XULucho27]

Thanks Jimmy. So the whole thing was simply a fabrication right? I guess I just don't get it. I mean I understand taking shots at SBU as an example (if you're so inclined) because those events actually occured and were self-inflicted. Same goes, as an example, for Rick Majerus' crude behavior or OSU and Tressel. But in this case we're poking fun at something that never happened. I know it's UD and all but I thought there must have been more to the story than this.

I think the fact that it is a fabrication makes it that much better. The fan's reaction, actually threatening litigation, makes it priceless. It is such a baseless, ridiculous accusation, that getting that incredibly worked up over it is a hilarious reaction. I for one love it, and constantly propagate the melon-humping legend whenever possible (although I wasn't here for it first-hand and had to have it explained to me as well a few years ago by a fellow poster and 2008 grad).

edit: danaandvictory beat me to it!

[Kahns Krazy]

I don't think it was a fabrication. I believe in my heart of hearts that Dayton players and their fans engage in carnal relations with watermelons. Pete Waleskowski threatened legal action against those who threatened to expose their vile fetish. Why would you be so outraged unless the fruit of your loins was in fact engaged to the fruit of the month?

I found this picture of a dayton crime scene.

http://www.xavierhoops.com/forums/picture.php?albumid=22&pictureid=313

[JimmyTwoTimes37]

Now someone is over there saying he's glad Pablo is dead.

"From all i saw of pablo the world is a better place without him - sorry if that offends anyone but i never saw anything from him that wasnt offensive and/or hateful - x fans can put that in their watermelon and smoke it"

http://udpride.com/forums/showthread.php?t=20045

*Credit goes to Chermy23 for finding this*

[GoMuskies]

Now someone is over there saying he's glad Pablo is dead.

"From all i saw of pablo the world is a better place without him - sorry if that offends anyone but i never saw anything from him that wasnt offensive and/or hateful - x fans can put that in their watermelon and smoke it"

http://udpride.com/forums/showthread.php?t=20045

*Credit goes to Chermy23 for finding this*

It's classy when UD fans hump a melon on someone's grave. They're classy.

[XUglow]

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31I2U2w5mNL._SL500_AA300_.jpg

This did happen though. Thousands witnessed it. Others, like myself, caught the vivid description on the radio.

[outsideobserver11]

Now someone is over there saying he's glad Pablo is dead.

"From all i saw of pablo the world is a better place without him - sorry if that offends anyone but i never saw anything from him that wasnt offensive and/or hateful - x fans can put that in their watermelon and smoke it"

http://udpride.com/forums/showthread.php?t=20045

*Credit goes to Chermy23 for finding this*

How does one let a basketball rivalry stoop to this level?

[Chermy23]

How does one let a basketball rivalry stoop to this level?

I know not ALL of UD's fans have this mindset but wow, it makes their entire fanbase look pretty bad. I hope all the jagoffs at UD Pride are proud of this.

[XBR1]

I will say that Gary Griffin said he wished I was dead a few times. I really took it as a compliment.

[Snipe]

The following is from UDPride. Is this an accurate account of the origin of all the watermelon jokes?

I actually have it on good authority. Some UD players were caught by a late night security guard together in the locker room with some fruit. The security cameras caught it on tape. Pablo got hold of that tape and put it on the internet and all hell broke loose. Lawsuits were threatened and the UD Brass embarked on a big cover up. I saw the tape. It wasn't pretty.

Ask yourself, why would they get their panties in a bunch if this was about nothing. If I called you a mellon humper, you would spend the next 7 years denying it, destroying evidence and threatening lawsuits? We all know very well that where their is smoke their is fire.

I have seen the tape. I can vouch for that very fact. The University of Dayton is infested with mellon humpers. Those guys like to get together, get naked, and hump melons. It wouldn't have stuck if their wasn't some truth to it, and believe me I wish I would have never seen that tape. I can never look at those despicable humpers the same way again.

They are different than us. They are not Jesuit educated. They are guys that if let alone and left to their own devices they will get together and hump melons. It ain't pretty, and every bit of it is true.

HUMPERS!

[GoMuskies]

I believe everything Snipe has posted here 100%.

[SixFig]

Dwayne Wade hates watermelons too

http://i.cdn.turner.com/si/multimedia/photo_gallery/1007/dwyane.wade.rare.photos/images/wade-block.jpg

[sweet16]

I actually have it on good authority. Some UD players were caught by a late night security guard together in the locker room with some fruit. The security cameras caught it on tape. Pablo got hold of that tape and put it on the internet and all hell broke loose. Lawsuits were threatened and the UD Brass embarked on a big cover up. I saw the tape. It wasn't pretty.

Ask yourself, why would they get their panties in a bunch if this was about nothing. If I called you a mellon humper, you would spend the next 7 years denying it, destroying evidence and threatening lawsuits? We all know very well that where their is smoke their is fire.

I have seen the tape. I can vouch for that very fact. The University of Dayton is infested with mellon humpers. Those guys like to get together, get naked, and hump melons. It wouldn't have stuck if their wasn't some truth to it, and believe me I wish I would have never seen that tape. I can never look at those despicable humpers the same way again.

They are different than us. They are not Jesuit educated. They are guys that if let alone and left to their own devices they will get together and hump melons. It ain't pretty, and every bit of it is true.

HUMPERS!

Well then I guess its true. Could you tell from the security tape what type of mellons they were humping? Were they the seedless variety?

[tmac03]

Well then I guess its true. Could you tell from the security tape what type of mellons they were humping? Were they the seedless variety?

Not after they were done with them....oh, you didn't mean seed in the Biblical sense?

[American X]

I think the fact that it is a fabrication makes it that much better. The fan's reaction, actually threatening litigation, makes it priceless. It is such a baseless, ridiculous accusation, that getting that incredibly worked up over it is a hilarious reaction.

It would be funny if it were not 100% true and accurate. I am forever scarred by the videotape evidence.

Sean Finn and Keith Waleskowski are sick individuals who should not be allowed in open society. Their embrace and esteem is a testament to the depraved nature of the entire UD fanbase.

We highlight their debauched produce practices only as a warning to parents to never let their innocent teenagers consider attendance at the University of Dayton. Because, after all, everything we do is always For The Children©.

[XULucho27]

It would be funny if it were not 100% true and accurate. I am forever scarred by the videotape evidence.

Sean Finn and Keith Waleskowski are sick individuals who should not be allowed in open society. Their embrace and esteem is a testament to the depraved nature of the entire UD fanbase.

We highlight their debauched produce practices only as a warning to parents to never let their innocent teenagers consider attendance at the University of Dayton. Because, after all, everything we do is always For The Children©.

My apologies. I blame PMI for the misinformation.

PMI failed to give me the entire explanation behind the whole Dayton basketball players and fans humping watermelons. He did not tell me that Dayton basketball players and fans humping watermelons had occurred and been captured on video. If he had told me that Dayton basketball players and fans humping watermelons was a real thing, I wouldn't have been surprised. It seems that those Dayton basketball players and fans humping watermelons suffer from sitophilia, a fetish characterized by arousal in erotic situations involving food, much like Dayton basketball players and fans humping watermelons non-stop. The fact that Dayton basketball players and fans humping watermelons is not believed by those over at UDPride is very surprising, given that there is video evidence. I for one am now completely convinced of the veracity of the story about Dayton basketball players and fans humping watermelons.

Fun fact: Did you know if you write something enough times on the internet as to create several links, it will pop-up on Google when you search for an unrelated topic? So if I continually write about Dayton basketball players and fans humping watermelons it might eventually pop up on Google search for Dayton. Not that it would be misleading, though, since we all know that Dayton basketball players and fans humping watermelons is a very real thing. In fact, I'm surprised that they haven't outlawed the whole Dayton basketball players and fans humping watermelons yet. It's quite disgusting and un-classy.

[GoMuskies]

The Dayton Daily News has child porn on its website.

http://www.daytondailynews.com/watermelon-eating-contest--1221910.html

[XULucho27]

The Dayton Daily News has child porn on its website.

http://www.daytondailynews.com/watermelon-eating-contest--1221910.html

Disgusting. I didn't know that Dayton basketball players and fans humping watermelons extended to children as well. To include children in the whole Dayton basketball players and fans humping watermelons depravity is beyond sad.

[PMI]

The whole thing is sick and appalling. Amazingly, it is true. The only correction I would make to Snipe's account is that it was not Pablo who originally posted the evidence. It was on his board, but it was actually a poster by the name of NJ!NP! His identity needs not be unveiled, but he along with the late great Pablo deserve all the credit for uncovering such a scandal. I admit that when I suggested that the reason ud fans were so defensive about it was because of their own watermelon humping habits, I thought I was just being antagonistic, but based on their responses then, and over the past decade, I have absolutely no doubt that Dayton basketball players and fans hump watermelons.

[pickledpigsfeet]

1351

[OH.X.MI]

1356

Saw this at Dana's over the weekend!

[jhelmes37]

I went to grade school with Keith W's wife. She claims Keith has been mailed watermelons on numerous occasions over the years.

She also claims Keith always thought the whole thing was rather amusing - it's his old man that completely overreacted and went overboard.

Can you imagine randomly having a watermelon show up at your front door? That's some funny shit right there.

[GoMuskies]

Did you ask her if Keith violates the melons that are sent to him?

[nuts4xu]

I went to grade school with Keith W's wife. She claims Keith has been mailed watermelons on numerous occasions over the years.

She also claims Keith always thought the whole thing was rather amusing - it's his old man that completely overreacted and went overboard.

Can you imagine randomly having a watermelon show up at your front door? That's some funny shit right there.

I know one of the guys that sent a watermelon to Mr Watermelonhumperski, he was a great American!

[Pablo's Brother]

I went to grade school with Keith W's wife. She claims Keith has been mailed watermelons on numerous occasions over the years.

She also claims Keith always thought the whole thing was rather amusing - it's his old man that completely overreacted and went overboard.

Can you imagine randomly having a watermelon show up at your front door? That's some funny shit right there.

Amazing that it appears people are still shipping watermelons to Keith after Brian/Pablo left us. Brian shipped one to Keith and wrapped it with the enquirer's sports page. The one that mentioned David West scored 47 on Keith that day. He also used Joe Petrocelli's home address for the return. (This was waleskowski's old hs basketball coach at Alter.). Supposedly, Keith said "what in the world did petro ship me" before opening. His dad went nuts. Pablo loved it. I remember Sean asking us about (I think he is related to Keith). He said the entire team and coaching staff knew about it and thought it was hilarious.

[Kahns Krazy]

I went to grade school with Keith W's wife. She claims Keith has been mailed watermelons on numerous occasions over the years.

She also claims Keith always thought the whole thing was rather amusing - it's his old man that completely overreacted and went overboard.

Can you imagine randomly having a watermelon show up at your front door? That's some funny shit right there.

Yeah - Imagine a sex doll randomly showing up in your mail!