X Communicator
02-26-2011, 02:28 PM
P. Oh, there you are. I didn’t think you were going to show.
BG I’ve been here the whole time.
P Well, you’re hard to see. Why don’t you stand on the chair instead of sitting on it?
BG People always make fun of me because I’m small. When they call me little, I say, the only thing little about me is my humility. That’s my way of dealing with it…you know, turning it right back around!
P Whatever. But you’re still little. Do you have to shop at a special store or something?
BG The boys’ department at Wal-Mart. I’m a Size 16 now!.
P You came into this season being favored to win the A10.
BG Not only that, we were expected to be a top twenty-five team.
P How’d that work out?
BG We won the NIT championship!
P Wasn’t that last year?
BG Our fiscal year begins in March.
P Coach Gregory? Coach?
BG I’m right here, Pontiff.
P Go back to standing on the chair so I can see you. You ought to give people magnifying glasses when you’re around them.
BG I wanted to, but the school wouldn’t pay for it.
P I heard you shot your budget on watermelons.
BG I bought a “Mister Microphone,” too, so the players could hear me.
(BG rustles through duffel bag, pulls out battery operated mike. He turns it on & speaks into mike.)
BG Can you hear me now!
P Yeah, but they still won’t listen to you, anyway. It does get loud at the Dump, though. I’ll give you that.
BG They’re still fired up over our NIT Championship. Did I have a chance to tell you about that?
(Item drops out unexpectedly from BG’s bag. Pope looks down, picks up and examines it.)
P I thought they stopped selling Enzyte some time ago.
BG I bought a five years’ supply before they went under.
P A wise investment for such a little man. Your contract is up this year, I understand. What do you foresee in your future?
BG Pope, did I tell you that we won the NIT this year? We’ve built a great program at Dayton, and it is clear that we have surpassed Xavier as a program and a force to be reckoned with in the future.
P So does that mean you’ll be rehired?
BG No.
P Predictions on the X and Dayton game Sunday?
BG There’s a reason they call it home-court advantage, Pontiff. Our home crowd will be loud and on their feet the whole game. The fans’ll be on their feet more than the team will be on its feet, on account of the fact that the team tires easily. At the end of the day, Vicar, we’re looking at a 15-point difference..
P Do you think that will spur UD on to be competitive at AC?
BG (Confused.) Oh, wait. I meant we’d lose by 15. We’d lose by 25 if we weren’t at home.
P Thanks for the interview, Coach. Would you like the Pontiff’s special holy water blessing? It’s made from only the finest malt and hops.
BG Sure. Listen, would you mind dropping me at the gym on your way out of here?
P Would like to, but there’s no child restraint seat in the Popemobile.
BG I’ve been here the whole time.
P Well, you’re hard to see. Why don’t you stand on the chair instead of sitting on it?
BG People always make fun of me because I’m small. When they call me little, I say, the only thing little about me is my humility. That’s my way of dealing with it…you know, turning it right back around!
P Whatever. But you’re still little. Do you have to shop at a special store or something?
BG The boys’ department at Wal-Mart. I’m a Size 16 now!.
P You came into this season being favored to win the A10.
BG Not only that, we were expected to be a top twenty-five team.
P How’d that work out?
BG We won the NIT championship!
P Wasn’t that last year?
BG Our fiscal year begins in March.
P Coach Gregory? Coach?
BG I’m right here, Pontiff.
P Go back to standing on the chair so I can see you. You ought to give people magnifying glasses when you’re around them.
BG I wanted to, but the school wouldn’t pay for it.
P I heard you shot your budget on watermelons.
BG I bought a “Mister Microphone,” too, so the players could hear me.
(BG rustles through duffel bag, pulls out battery operated mike. He turns it on & speaks into mike.)
BG Can you hear me now!
P Yeah, but they still won’t listen to you, anyway. It does get loud at the Dump, though. I’ll give you that.
BG They’re still fired up over our NIT Championship. Did I have a chance to tell you about that?
(Item drops out unexpectedly from BG’s bag. Pope looks down, picks up and examines it.)
P I thought they stopped selling Enzyte some time ago.
BG I bought a five years’ supply before they went under.
P A wise investment for such a little man. Your contract is up this year, I understand. What do you foresee in your future?
BG Pope, did I tell you that we won the NIT this year? We’ve built a great program at Dayton, and it is clear that we have surpassed Xavier as a program and a force to be reckoned with in the future.
P So does that mean you’ll be rehired?
BG No.
P Predictions on the X and Dayton game Sunday?
BG There’s a reason they call it home-court advantage, Pontiff. Our home crowd will be loud and on their feet the whole game. The fans’ll be on their feet more than the team will be on its feet, on account of the fact that the team tires easily. At the end of the day, Vicar, we’re looking at a 15-point difference..
P Do you think that will spur UD on to be competitive at AC?
BG (Confused.) Oh, wait. I meant we’d lose by 15. We’d lose by 25 if we weren’t at home.
P Thanks for the interview, Coach. Would you like the Pontiff’s special holy water blessing? It’s made from only the finest malt and hops.
BG Sure. Listen, would you mind dropping me at the gym on your way out of here?
P Would like to, but there’s no child restraint seat in the Popemobile.