Dear Cincinnati Reds Fans

[DC Muskie]

To my dear Cincinnati Red Friends-

Please beat the Trash Phillies. I hate the Phillies, in fact I hate the entire city of Filthadelphia. The city smells like farts, and their citizens look like evolution hasn't been fully completed.

I hate the fact that Charrrrlliieee Manuel manages this team. I hate the fact that just five years ago, my Washington Nationals out drew their sorry asses. But mostly I hate Chase Utley. Sounds like a knobber. "Hi I'm Chase Utley. Do you have a brother?"

Beat their like they owe you money. If you could drill Jimmie Rollins in the head, that would be just fantastic.

Please Reds, beat the trash. Help humanity by sending these fools back to the zoo.

[Masterofreality]

To my dear Cincinnati Red Friends-

Please beat the Trash Phillies. I hate the Phillies, in fact I hate the entire city of Filthadelphia. The city smells like farts, and their citizens look like evolution hasn't been fully completed.

I hate the fact that Charrrrlliieee Manuel manages this team. I hate the fact that just five years ago, my Washington Nationals out drew their sorry asses. But mostly I hate Chase Utley. Sounds like a knobber. "Hi I'm Chase Utley. Do you have a brother?"

Beat their like they owe you money. If you could drill Jimmie Rollins in the head, that would be just fantastic.

Please Reds, beat the trash. Help humanity by sending these fools back to the zoo.

Not only that, their airport has won awards as the "Dirtiest Airport in the US." I refuse to fly in there because of the garbage and the fact that, for whatever reason, the fares to get there are higher than freaking New York. What? Who deemed Filthydelphia to be a more desireable destination than either Baltimore or NY?

In truth, that wasteland is nothing more than a speed-bump on I-95 between New York and Washington- two cities that actually matter. Dirty River, Dirty Air, Dirty Streets and a bunch of Refineries- that's Philly.

It is a suburb of Camden. I'll give it that.

[Cheesehead]

...ummm..have you ever seen Chase's wife? She's somewhat on the attractive side.

I'm more than ok if you don't like the town but from everything I have read and seen. Utley is an ok dude.

Having said this, GO REDS!

[94GRAD]

I will be cheering as hard as I can at every homegame that we have. Section 143, row A, Seats 9-12. That's right, front row in right-center field. GO REDS!!!

[DC Muskie]

...ummm..have you ever seen Chase's wife? She's somewhat on the attractive side.

I'm more than ok if you don't like the town but from everything I have read and seen. Utley is an ok dude.

Having said this, GO REDS!

What the fuck does Utley's wife have anything to do with the fact I cheered like crazy when John Lannan broke his hand? Do you like sports, or do you like guys who have hot wives?

Seriously, if Utley has a good series against the Reds are you going to be okay because you read that he is a good guy and he rails someone who couldn't score with?

I realize the Reds haven't been to the playoffs in about a billion years, but this is seriously the pussiest response I have ever read before a playoff series.

Everything I've read is a cool dude and his wife is hot.

Chase Utley is Trash. He plays for the City of Farts. Cheer when Chapman drills him in the head.

Good God.

[Juice]

Philadelphia Phillies (97-65, NL East Champs)
Nothing makes me angrier than an unimaginatively named team such as the Phillies. At least the Houston Texans have the excuse of being Texan, and therefore retarded. All I can think about when I hear about the Phillies is how gratingly stupid their name is, as if someone decided to name the Yankees the Yorkies. It's a nickname that was clearly bestowed upon them by the 3-year-old son of whoever first owned the team.

I've also had my fill of shrieking female Phillies fans who spend hours online telling the world how gosh darn cute they think Chase Utley is. FACT: Behind the Red Sox, the Phillies have the highest percentage of obnoxious female pink-hat-wearing fans. Be on the lookout for them this October. They're the ones who are piss-drunk on the street telling you they'd do anything to get in Cole Hamels's "on deck circle." Notice that none of these girls will ever tell you how cute Ryan Howard is. This is because Ryan Howard is big and black and big black men scare them TO DEATH.

Fernando:

Every Philadelphia Phillies player, coach, ballboy, usher, fan, or anyone who lives or has ever lived within 100 miles of Philadelphia should die. I mean a slow, tragic and painful death that involves a vise and blunt objects that were designed to stretch and tear human orifices.

Andy:

I was at the Nationals-Phillies game at Nats Stadium on Tuesday. My friend and I were sitting next to a pack of ridiculous female Phillies fans (as you may know, Phillies fans typically outnumber Nationals fans when the Phillies come to town, it sucks). Anyways, the girl closest to us was actually pretty nice, but still had blinding love for the Phillies. She told us she specifically got a puppy that was born on Shane Victorino's birthday, and of course named it Shane. When Victorino got up to bat, a Nats fan in the row in front of us started taunting her about how much he sucked. She of course was defending him, calling him the greatest blah blah blah. Then Shane struck out, and she looked like she was about to burst into tears. That was a great moment.


http://deadspin.com/5655344/the-2010-haters-guide-to-the-mlb-playoffs

[DC Muskie]

I can tell you this...every team that comes to Washington brings tons of fans. When the Braves are in town, get to the ball park because the ass convention is going on.

Then the Trash comes to town, it's the BIG ass convention. There is no such thing as an attractive Philadelphia fan. They do not exist. This is because the women of the City of Brotherly Love have suffered beatings from their the husbands and/ or boyfriends. Women of the City of Farts get knocked out every time the Eagles lose. You can imagine the devastation of decades of losing has done.

That's some great stuff Juice. Thanks.

Go Reds.

[Masterofreality]

I say GO REDS too.

Being originally from Louisville, the Reds were the first baseball team I rooted for. I saw my first major league game in Crosley Field and my dad and I made many trips up the old highway (US 42) before I-71 was ever built to see Jim Maloney, Johnny Edwards and Vada Pinson. I hated to lose to the Yanks in 1961, but went crazy when the Reds won the Series in 1975 after witnessing, in person, losing Series in 1970 and 1972. I also remember going down to Nashville to see Jim O'Toole pitch when the Nashville Vols were the Reds farm club in the late 1950's/early 1960's. I was in Riverfront when the Reds won a dramatic postseason series against the Pirates.

The Indians have always been my favorite American League team and, I must admit, that I root for them in the Interleague Series, but the Reds have always been my first baseball love. Elio Chacon, Chico Cardenas, Mel Queen, Sammy Ellis, The Big Klu. Just some of the names in my history.

[JimmyTwoTimes37]

Utley's wife is hot, but she's got nothing on...

Kate Beckinsale
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v621/skel1977/aaaaaaaaaakatebeckinsale2.gif

Jessica Alba
http://img74.imageshack.us/img74/328/bluealba22ccdl6pk4.gif

[GoMuskies]

I waited 15 years for THAT?!?

[DC Muskie]

Everything I seen and read Roy Halladay is a good guy.

Worst day ever.

Get to watch two Indian Cy Young winners win for someone else in the playoffs.

Oh and a trash pitcher throws a no hitter.

Xavier basketball please.

[PM Thor]

DC are you saying Halladay is a trash pitcher?

The guy was throwing in the 90s well into the 8th inning, in no way is that guy a trash pitcher. He was putting the ball exactly where he wanted all night long, in fact, I can't think of any time whatsoever in the game where the catcher set up and the ball missed him (unlike Volquez). I just read that he shook off the catcher once all game. He was dialed in, in spectacular fashion.

I HATE dayton.

[Cheesehead]

What the fuck does Utley's wife have anything to do with the fact I cheered like crazy when John Lannan broke his hand? Do you like sports, or do you like guys who have hot wives?

Seriously, if Utley has a good series against the Reds are you going to be okay because you read that he is a good guy and he rails someone who couldn't score with?

I realize the Reds haven't been to the playoffs in about a billion years, but this is seriously the pussiest response I have ever read before a playoff series.

Everything I've read is a cool dude and his wife is hot.

Chase Utley is Trash. He plays for the City of Farts. Cheer when Chapman drills him in the head.

Good God.

Lighten up Francis. So all the guys on the Phillies are dicks because poor DC Muskie doesn't like the City of Philly?... and I'm the pussy?

Reds looked like not ready for prime time players tonight and I'm a Red's fan and my wife is pretty hot. So, suck it.

[94GRAD]

DC are you saying Halladay is a trash pitcher?

The guy was throwing in the 90s well into the 8th inning, in no way is that guy a trash pitcher. He was putting the ball exactly where he wanted all night long, in fact, I can't think of any time whatsoever in the game where the catcher set up and the ball missed him (unlike Volquez). I just read that he shook off the catcher once all game. He was dialed in, in spectacular fashion.

I HATE dayton.

I think he is calling him a trash pitcher because he is on the Phillies, not because he thinks he stinks.

[DC Muskie]

Lighten up Francis. So all the guys on the Phillies are dicks because poor DC Muskie doesn't like the City of Philly?... and I'm the pussy?

Reds looked like not ready for prime time players tonight and I'm a Red's fan and my wife is pretty hot. So, suck it.

Please stay off the Smack talk section of this messageboard.

Yes I hate Philadelphia. I am a fan. Fan tends to hate their rivals. You however seem to be a pussy who likes opposing teams because they seem nice and have hot wives. Maybe you could go to the pussy talk section of this messageboard and discuss how much you like Chase Utley and his wife.

Congrats on being a pussy ass Reds fan who has a hot wife.

[DC Muskie]

[B][COLOR="Navy"]DC are you saying Halladay is a trash pitcher?

Yes. Philadelphia = Trash.

What the fuck is with you pussy Red fans?

Is this not the smack talk section? You guys passionate about anything other then telling me how good Halladay is?

Well it looks like the Reds weren't ready for prime time.

Chase Utley and my wife are pretty hot.

Jesus! The Reds just got no hit for crying out loud. We need to drill someone in the fucking ear.

[Cheesehead]

Please stay off the Smack talk section of this messageboard.

Yes I hate Philadelphia. I am a fan. Fan tends to hate their rivals. You however seem to be a pussy who likes opposing teams because they seem nice and have hot wives. Maybe you could go to the pussy talk section of this messageboard and discuss how much you like Chase Utley and his wife.

Congrats on being a pussy ass Reds fan who has a hot wife.

Fans tend to hate their rivals. Sure, if you're in 5th grade I guess. I never said I liked the Phillies but thanks for continuing to put words in my mouth and you keep calling me a pussy simply because you don't like my post. Nice. Pussy is one thing I have never been called before so congrats, you have that at least. I don't even recall the convicted felons I supervised for 10 years ever calling me a pussy.

DC, I used to like you on this board but you Sir, are an ASSHOLE!

[Cheesehead]

Fuck the Phillies! I want to shit down their throats and rip their heads off! I am going to get Utley's wife and we can all gang bang her!!!

Chapman needs to drill EVERY philly player until het gets thrown out. I hope Charlie Manuel has a heart attack in the dugout!

Happy, DC?

[DC Muskie]

Fans tend to hate their rivals. Sure, if you're in 5th grade I guess. I never said I liked the Phillies but thanks for continuing to put words in my mouth and you keep calling me a pussy simply because you don't like my post. Nice. Pussy is one thing I have never been called before so congrats, you have that at least. I don't even recall the convicted felons I supervised for 10 years ever calling me a pussy.

DC, I used to like you on this board but you Sir, are an ASSHOLE!

Great thanks. I've never been called an asshole before. Even the people I have served over the years when they didn't like me giving in to all the things they wanted never called me an asshole.

You don't hate your rivals? You have to be in 5th grade to hate them? Wow. I never realized that after 5th grade you weren't allowed to talk some shit about a team that wasn't yours.

You're right Chase Utley is a nice, sweet boy who happens to play for another team. Cheerio, pass the cucumber sandwiches please!

You don't hate your rivals. You sir are in fact the definition of a pussy.

Oh and the convicted felons you supervised called you a pussy behind your back.

[DC Muskie]

Fuck the Phillies! I want to shit down their throats and rip their heads off! I am going to get Utley's wife and we can all gang bang her!!!

Chapman needs to drill EVERY philly player until het gets thrown out. I hope Charlie Manuel has a heart attack in the dugout!

Happy, DC?

If you weren't such a pussy I would be totally into this post.

But you are, so you don't actually mean it.

I doubt you will even be remotely upset when the Reds will get swept and the Trash will win another World Series.

Ho hum.

[GoMuskies]

DC, I used to like you on this board but you Sir, are an ASSHOLE!

I thought this was why we liked DC in the first place.

[Cheesehead]

It's possible to want to beat someone; absolutely destroy them on the court or field but not hate them. It's called sportsmanship. You take a juvenile approach to it and I take more of an adult approach to it. It's all good. Whatever works for you. I say this and people who know me would say I'm a very competitive person. I don't like losing in pretty much anything. Losing sucks. Period.

Sorry if you can't grasp this concept. I want X to beat UD by 20 every time they play but I think the school itself is ok and I know some alumni who are actually ok and some are assholes like you.

The felons can call me assholes behind my back just like all the people you served did. I guarantee the ones that did were probably the ones I revoked and they did so from a prison cell. Ho hum.

DC, you're not single by any chance are you? If you are then that's no real surprise to me. If you are not single, then I just say for the record, you are quite a catch.

I'm done here. Continue with your rants about the f'ing Phillies.

[DC Muskie]

DC, you're not single by any chance are you?

You used to like me, but yet not know the answer?

You must not know me.

You have totaled ruined this smack talk thread sir. Congrats.

Smack talk is supposed to be fun, but you have turned this into some physiological report on how mature you are that you have friends who are Dayton grads. Great.

It's absolutely incredible how this has turned. This is now a thread about how I can't find true love from a woman, AND lose the likeness of a man on a messageboard for my supposed immaturity.

You completely depress me Cheese. You ruin fun. Your wife must have an absolute blast with your sportsmanship and maturity. You probably braid each others hair for all I know. I'm not married so I'm not sure how that works.

I hope it's another 15 years before the Reds make the playoffs, so I don't have to read stuff like this.

In the meantime, I hope Jared and Ryan Howard accidentally eat other during taping of another Subway commercial.

[Cheesehead]

You used to like me, but yet not know the answer?

You must not know me.

You have totaled ruined this smack talk thread sir. Congrats.

Smack talk is supposed to be fun, but you have turned this into some physiological report on how mature you are that you have friends who are Dayton grads. Great.

It's absolutely incredible how this has turned. This is now a thread about how I can't find true love from a woman, AND lose the likeness of a man on a messageboard for my supposed immaturity.

You completely depress me Cheese. You ruin fun. Your wife must have an absolute blast with your sportsmanship and maturity. You probably braid each others hair for all I know. I'm not married so I'm not sure how that works.

I hope it's another 15 years before the Reds make the playoffs, so I don't have to read stuff like this.

In the meantime, I hope Jared and Ryan Howard accidentally eat other during taping of another Subway commercial.

No I don't know you personally; just from the board. I know one of your friends from this board. Ok, so single then? Shocker!

Me, 17 years of marriage and I married up. So, I guess I did something right.

Now, Eat Shit Phillies. Happy? It's all good man. Enjoyed it.

[JAPER]

Cheese, Lighten up!

Smack thread....

I'm pissed and embarrassed the Reds got smoked last night. The Reds will drill the filth by this time tomorrow PM.

[Cheesehead]

Cheese, Lighten up!

Smack thread....

I'm pissed and embarrassed the Reds got smoked last night. The Reds will drill the filth by this time tomorrow PM.

Wait, you're telling me to lighten up? Did you not see all the crap DC posted?

I'm fine. It's all good. I know he's just yanking my chain. However, it's pretty clear why the guy is still single.

I hope the Philles suck a big lemon on Friday night. I am pissed that I will most of it as I have to be a good dad and go watch 6th grade CYO girls basketball. Ugghhhh......

[PM Thor]

It's possible to want to beat someone; absolutely destroy them on the court or field but not hate them. It's called sportsmanship. You take a juvenile approach to it and I take more of an adult approach to it. It's all good. Whatever works for you. I say this and people who know me would say I'm a very competitive person. I don't like losing in pretty much anything. Losing sucks. Period.

Sorry if you can't grasp this concept. I want X to beat UD by 20 every time they play but I think the school itself is ok and I know some alumni who are actually ok and some are assholes like you.
The felons can call me assholes behind my back just like all the people you served did. I guarantee the ones that did were probably the ones I revoked and they did so from a prison cell. Ho hum.

DC, you're not single by any chance are you? If you are then that's no real surprise to me. If you are not single, then I just say for the record, you are quite a catch.

I'm done here. Continue with your rants about the f'ing Phillies.

I literally cannot understand you. You make you no sense sir.

I HATE dayton.

[DC Muskie]

Wait, you're telling me to lighten up? Did you not see all the crap DC posted?

I'm fine. It's all good. I know he's just yanking my chain. However, it's pretty clear why the guy is still single.

I hope the Philles suck a big lemon on Friday night. I am pissed that I will most of it as I have to be a good dad and go watch 6th grade CYO girls basketball. Ugghhhh......

Cheese please help then. Please tell me why I am single!!!

Please is it because of my hatred for the Phillies? Is that why I ended my engagement over 6 years ago?

How much do you charge for a session, because you could really get to the depth of my issues. I mean I'm working out, I go out on dates, I even pay. But for some reason there is an obvious reason why you good sir have been married for 17 years while I am almost in my mid 30's and still single.

Like I said before this thread has been killed. I'm closing this thread because now it has become why I am single. And not about talking some shit about the Phillies.

Cheese- Best of luck to your daughter's basketball game.