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View Full Version : Blackburn Review -- too funny



kyxu
05-13-2010, 07:32 AM
I laughed out loud at one of the most recent postings at Blackburn Review. It's great to see some Dayton fans at least laugh at their program a bit:



Huelsman & Fox, LLC

I always respect a good hustle, and this one ranks up there with some of the best I've seen in awhile. Let me be the first to introduce the world of "Dayton Basketball Workouts" to you. It appears that Kurt Huelsman and Dan Fox have figured out a way in which to further suck the marrow from the unsuspecting citizenry of the Dayton metropolitan area.

From the site:

These workouts are designed to help teach kids the fundamentals of basketball. Our drill work and teaching points are designed for individual skill development and increased knowledge of the game of basketball. We will strive to help each individual put themselves in a position to reach their full potential. Players will be instructed by former Division I athletes that have done all these drills first hand.

This is a great idea, as young children absolutely love the structure that repetitive basketball drills provide. Just hours and hours of working on your defensive stance and rebounding technique, that's what all the kids are craving. If you just close your eyes, you can almost hear the instruction that will likely change one little boy's life:

"Great job, Billy!"

"But Coach Huelsman, I'm just standing here."

"No, you are taking up space. Did you see how by standing still you allowed your teammate to grab that rebound?"

"Uh...not really, Coach. I'm just here because my parents think I will try to hurt myself if I'm left alone again. To tell you the truth, I don't even know the rules of basketball."

(Huelsman squats in front of Billy, placing his hands on his shoulders.)

"I'll let you in on a little secret, Billy. I never learned the rules of this game either. I spent four years standing around and people seemed to love me for it. Honestly, I don't really know how to play basketball, but I do know a thing or two about standing around. And let me tell you kid, you got the goods!"

As an added bonus, Fox's cell phone number is listed on the site. The chances of Dan Fox receiving a phone call from a strange 50 year-old white man just went up exponentially.

http://www.blackburnreview.com/main/2010/5/12/huelsman-fox-llc.html#comments

Masterofreality
05-13-2010, 07:43 AM
This guy is hilarious. He missed the obvious though.

This isn't training for basketball. It's training for a career as a scarecrow, or...statue, or....

(insert career path below.........)

X-band '01
05-13-2010, 09:16 AM
Let's not insult them as far as their career paths are concerned - having to play basketball at UD for 4 years is punishment enough for whatever they did as utes.

Although I do have to wonder if Rob Lowery is also doing boxing clinics for these kids as well.

SixFig
05-13-2010, 11:15 AM
They even have a kid friendly mascot, Traffic Coney the Traffic Cone.

http://images.clipartof.com/small/8250-Clipart-Picture-Of-A-Traffic-Cone-Mascot-Cartoon-Character-With-Welcoming-Open-Arms.jpg

Masterofreality
05-13-2010, 04:39 PM
They even have a kid friendly mascot, Traffic Coney the Traffic Cone.


Wouldn't "Traffic Coney" have cheese and onions all over it while standing beside chili?