You might be a Dayton basketball player if...

[XUglow]

...the Ohio DOT wants to know what your plans are after college.

[BandAid]

...you dress in all orange and feel like you're doing nothing but directing traffic.

[Masterofreality]

Farmers are calling the school to buy the tall stickmen "as seen on TV" for scarecrows.

[SixFig]

You feel strangely compelled to follow orders from midgets in suits

[xuwin]

You're a 4 year starter and your career PPG and RPG are both under 4. This could also be a riddle.

[BandAid]

...you have no discernable basketball talent

[The_Mack_Pack]

hump melons

[joebba]

You can jump "real" high (incorrect grammar on purpose) and dunk but can't contribute meaningfully to team basketball

[Michigan Muskie]

...you wear your hair like a girl to distract from the sad truth that you cannot hit a shot outside 4 feet.

[Muskie1000]

you actually let a sub-par Duquesne team take you to overtime and lose to an even worse St. Joes' team.

[X-band '01]

you ask the A-10 if you have to play at St. Bonaventure or move the game to a safer location.

[waggy]

... if your personage smells like sewage.

[Xman95]

Farmers are calling the school to buy the tall stickmen "as seen on TV" for scarecrows.

Then, less than a year later, those same farmers return the stickmen because the farmers our tired of having their produce violated.

[bourbonman]

You long for the days of the Ford and Nixon presidencies and remember them as the good old days.

[xubball93]

You may as well not bother making the drive down 75 because you can't beat X in Cincinnati.

[XUglow]

You are sure there is an L somewhere in the word "Cincinnati".

[BandAid]

...you get more excited about watching the NCAA play-in game than about playing in the NCAAs

[BandAid]

...you suffer from some sort of ailment during every team loss

[BandAid]

...you expect to be in the Final Four but can't finish in the top four in your own conference.

[XUglow]

...you think every game is against 5 players and 3 refs.

[Michigan Muskie]

you stand more than a foot taller than your coach but have recorded only two dunks in four years.

[Xpectations]

... the only possible way you’d ever see a teammate on an NBA telecast is if they scan the crowd.

... whenever you’re asked to use “road” in a sentence it is always followed by “loss.”

... your head coach explained to you that “talent” is just another word for “vertical leap.”

... the term “Sweet Sixteen” simply means you’re old enough to drive.

[Masterofreality]

.......Your coach doesn't make the height requirement for roller coasters.

[joebba]

... your Lucky Charms cereal mysteriously disappears every time you re-stock your locker.

[X-band '01]

.......Your coach doesn't make the height requirement for roller coasters.

For The Beast or for the Hanna-Barbera Land rides at KI?

[paulxu]

For The Beast or for the Hanna-Barbera Land rides at KI?

For this particular ride at KI, he would have to take along some one from Xavier to fullfill the requirement.

Thunder Alley

Get ready to put the pedal to the metal on this oval go-cart track!

*Additional fee required for this attraction.

HEIGHT REQUIREMENT: Guests under 60" must be accompanied by a responsible person.

[TheDanimal]

Your campus crib is pimped out in Spiderman swag.

[xuwin]

Your vertical leap is bigger than your scoring average.

[XUglow]

You check your armpits everytime you walk into your home arena just to make sure that smell isn't you.

[DC Muskie]

if you try and rent Brian Roberts NCAA tournament game highlights at the local Blockbuster.